Platypus', Teenage Daughters And Other Troubles
by Rose-de-Noire
Summary: Okay, this time this is really posted as a followup to the other P&F fics of me.  But as there probably will be some more chapters, this is not a standalone! And I will ad further chapters here. M for later chapters and swearing. slash
1. Spliced

**SPLICED**

**Roses smalltalk:  
><strong>Okay, this time this is really posted as a followup to the other P&F fics of me.  
>But as there probably will be some more chapters, this is not a standalone! And I will ad further chapters here.<br>Thanks for goes to all my dear reviewers and to tripperfunster (for her unknowingly inspiration) from devianArt and on which other sites o'ever I crossed her!

Greets Rose

**SPLICED**

Sometimes he hated it all.  
>The fact that he had to be a mindless pet on one side and on the other he was agent, nemesis and lover.<br>The fact that someone – scientist of the OWCA – had messed with a little, innocent, vulnerable platypus egg, a DNA-Splicer and a good dash human genetics.  
>And the fact, that he had – thanks to one of Heinz' inators – proof of.<br>And his all night present nightmares of loosing all his beloved ones and not be able to defend them, which he hated the most.  
>Last night he had even kicked Ferb in his sleep...<p>

Doofenshmirtz put the screwdriver back on his workbench and turned to the big, currently open, panoramic window, gazed for one minute at the slouched silhouette of the platypus.  
>Poor Perry sat there – obviously in one of his brooding moods – watching the rain fall on Danville.<br>Heinz doffed his lab coat while stepping over to the platypus and, while sitting down by his side, he put the coat around the sagged shoulders of his "nemesis": "Gonna tell me what's nagging you, pet?"

Perry, thankfully for the warmth and the concern, cuddled deeper in the lab coat and leaned on the scientists side, feebly purring.  
>Heinz' hand came up, started to rub the agents neck and shoulders: "You're so tense..." and he assumed: "Nightmares again..."<br>Perry nodded, arched in the comfortingly touch and Doof stated: "You're not to blame for them, you know?"  
>The platypus nodded once more and rubbed his head against the mans side, purring a little louder.<p>

"You know, what would do _us_ some good?"  
>Perry looked upwards, a questioningly look in his brown eyes and Doofenshmirtz smiled: "A good hot bath... there still two hours left until Vanessa 's home!"<p>

They fooled around like some teenagers, bubble bath could be so relaxingly inspiring sometimes...  
>Perry almost burst of laughing, seeing Doof with a giant foam bra, matching bubble wig and glaring at him.<br>Yes, life was fantastic again!  
>"Would you stop laughing at me," with a fake frown and a promising growl, "or I gonna punish you <em>hard<em>, Agent P..."  
>The sentence almost re vibrated through the montremes whole body and he tilted his head to one side, winked and chirruped in a provoking manner.<br>"You know," leaning in, brushing the tip of his long Nose against Perry's beak, "you're a tease, my "nemesis"!"  
>The platypus' answer was a low, rumbling purr. And with this he placed his paws under Doofs chin and pulled him in for a soft kiss...<p>

They sat on the couch, a cozy fire flickering in the fireplace and cuddled up together.  
>"Still half an' hour left..."<br>Perry nodded and hold his notepad up and Dr. D red aloud: "Why's Vannie living with you now, something happened to her mother?"  
>He shook his head and nodded then at the same time: "Nope," and he snorted, "she has a new boyfriend. A major dumb ass and he and ex Missus Doofenshmirtz where about to send my little honey girl to a boarding school at the other end of the country... couldn't let this happen!"<br>Perry placed a paw on the Doctors tense hand and squeezed it gently, comfortingly, silently saying: I'm here for you. Always.  
>Doofenshmirtz smiled down at him and leaned then forward to brush a kiss atop the platypus' head, whispering: "Thank you my favorite nemesis..."<br>The agent rubbed his head against Doofs cheek.

She smiled a warm hello to her dad, standing in the kitchen and preparing dinner for them, and let him hug her tight before moving to her room to put away the school stuff, thinking of how much had changed over the last few weeks.  
>She, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, living with her "evil" dad, no longer persuaded to bust him and really enjoying his company.<br>They worked great along together. She really shouldn't had listened to her mother that long...  
>Her dad wasn't a looser. Period!<br>After she had discovered by chance that the EVIL in Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated was an acronym and she had find out what her dads _other_ firm was for, she even had to admit that her dad was a real genius.  
>His doctor title in evilness could be bought or not, the other <em>two<em> where earned and for real.

Vanessa scuffled out of her room – now clad in a comfortable black track-suit – and sat on the couch beside the fireplace, noticing the notepad lying on the side table she grabbed it to take a closer look at and while she flipped through the pages, her features changed from confused through amused to astonished.  
>"Dad," she exclaimed smirking, "why's Perry sketching you half naked with hearts all around your head; and why he's so good at it?"<br>Form out of the kitchen could be heard a shattering noise, followed by a high pitched shriek and a loud string of Druelselsteinian curses.

He had dropped the frying pan at what his daughter said and had surely some severe burnings from the boiling oil, but he didn't really feel them, even he was cursing.  
>He finally ended his cursing aria with the muttered words: "Curse you Perry the forgetfully cutie-pus!"<br>At that instant Vanessa stormed in the kitchen, anxious asking: "Papi, what in all heavens name happened, are you okay?"  
>He just stared to the floor, at the mess which once was supposed to be a healthy dinner for his beloved daughter.<br>His beloved daughter who had lived some wonderful weeks at his.  
>His beloved daughter who had given him a second chance.<br>His little girl he loved more than anything in all dimensions.  
>And his daughter, who now would hate him for being such a sick, insane bastard as he was in a relationship with a platypus, even if this platypus had some human genetics and was more intelligent than most humans he knew so far, even Perry was...<br>A hand was placed on his trembling arm as Vanessa spoke: "Dad, you're burned, let me take a look at it..."  
>He didn't move.<br>He simple wasn't able to move until Vanessa gently take a hold on his arm and pulled him over to sit down on a chair, asking him worriedly: "Dad, what's wrong, I just..." she took a deep breath, started over again, "Papi, you love who you love, at least this is my opinion..." she embraced him, "... and as I know you love me too... I'm okay with it. Do you hear me?"  
>Doofenshmirtz nodded disbelieving: "Wirklich, Vannie liebes*?"<br>Vanessa just nodded, then snorted: "Ja, ja wirklich, Papi! He's a way better choice than mom's new fuck-buddy. And now let me take care of those burnings... bitte**!"  
>Did his seventeen year old little girl just say <em>fuck-buddy<em>?

*Really, Vannie darling?  
>** yes, yes really, Papi! And now let me take care of those burnings... please!" <p>


	2. Text Me If You Can

**TEXT ME IF YOU CAN**

**Roses smalltalk:**  
>Once again: Fluff-time!<br>**  
><strong>at RainbowMoon13:  
>I'm so glad, you like this little story! And, I hope you stay tuned...<br>I tried to follow your advice about the "he" in this part! Thanks for pointing this out! :)  
>The grammatical errors: Yes, yes I know they're there and I should eliminate them... *is to lazy though, as she only sees them after posting, even she reads it over about five times while writing*<br>And, I never could hurt Vanessa (not badly at least)! I like her way to much.  
>The EVIL acronym will probably revealed in the next chapter.<br>Wow, that was one of the longest review-answers I ever wrote!

**TEXT ME IF YOU CAN**

Perry lifted his head off his pillow and pulled his smartphone out from underneath, as the little vibration announced an incoming text.  
>The platypus smiled reading Doctor D's name, but as he opened the message Perry's features fell, there where only two words on the screen: Vanessa knows.<br>The agent shot a quick glance around the empty room – his official owners where at a sleep over – and texted back: I'm coming.  
>Nobody here would miss him if he would be back before Phineas and Ferb in the middle of the next day.<p>

Perry opened the the door with his key and shaking paws.  
>He only could assume in which condition his beloved nemesis would be after he had had to deal with Vanessa.<br>What if the teenager did repulse her dad after finding out?  
>What if...<br>He stopped in the middle of the thought as he was gripped by a paw and pulled inside the apartment only to face an almost panicking Vanessa.  
>"Perry," she pulled him towards the kitchen, "dad blacked out!"<br>The agents heart dropped, Heinz usually didn't black out, even when he was severely injured...  
>"You know, it's all my fault," Vanessa stammered, "... I found out... and he... the frying pan... the oil... and I can't find the first aid kit... you're..."<br>They where in the kitchen now and Vanessa finally let go of his paw so he could take a better look at the unconscious scientist on the floor.  
>Obviously the the girl wasn't that close to panic as the agent had assumed first, as Heinz was in the recovery position, lab coat under his head and covered with wet towels.<br>Perry smiled a little as he saw the cell phone clenched in Heinz' left hand – his answer text on screen – and he patted Vanessa's leg comfortingly before he left for the bedroom.

Vanessa watched the platypus darting off and kneeled down by her dads side, murmuring: "Sorry papi... I didn't want this to happen..."  
>And then Perry was back and pulled with one paw the towels away, while aiming with the other a sort of a ray-gun at her dads injuries.<br>The goth girl watched in awe as the burnings faded under the ray, only leaving some new, pale and soft skin.  
>Perry shot her a dashing smile and blew some non existent smoke from the ray-guns barrel before he passed the device to her.<br>"Healthy-inator 2..." she red aloud.  
>And this was the moment Doofenshmirtz choose to come back to live with a deep sigh and a dreamily mumbled "Perry..."<p>

He tried to blink away the fog and dizziness while sitting up.  
>Why he had laid on the floor anyways?<br>The last thing he could remember was that he wanted text back Perry that only half of his text had gone through and so his blurry vision focused on the cell phone in his hand.  
>A paw on his cheekbone and a soft chatter let Dr. D jerk his head up to face a smiling Perry the platypus and a little bemused he wondered: "You're here Perry... Vanessa?"<br>"I'm here papi, and happy you're doing well again..." his daughters voice came from behind as she hugged Heinz, "... sorry for making you freak out, papi. I'm really sorry!"  
>"Honey," and he turned in her embrace to hug her back,"I'm okay thanks to you and – Perry, I think..."<br>Vanessa nodded and shot a glance over to the monotreme which stood aside – and with no further thought she reached out for the agent and pulled him in the hug too.

Boxes of Chinese food and a pizza carton were scattered on the couch table between them.  
>They were the substitute for the healthy meal Doofenshmirtz served to the floor lately instead to his daughter.<br>Vanessa had ordered them for the three and so they all had ended up in the living room for dinner, Heinz and Perry, side by side on the couch, Vanessa on the recliner and were now watching TV.  
>Vanessa smiled as she shot a quick look over to the pair on the couch. Somewhere while the movie, her dad had laid down on the couch and Perry had took place on his chest, all rolled up and purring almost inaudible, while Heinz combed his fur.<br>She had to admit, those two were really cute together.  
>And she was pretty sure that both would enjoy some alone-time. So she left with a goodnight kiss for her dad and a soft pat on Perry's head: "See you two in the mornin' guys, nighty night!"<p>

Doofenshmirtz looked stunned after his retiring teenage daughter and murmured: "I don't know when and how, but I certainly must have done something really right and good to get such a wonderful child..." he then looked straight into Perry's brown eyes, "... and such a lovable, carrying partner!" giggling he added: "Who beats me up at least once a day!"  
>The platypus just leaned in and brushed his beak in a lovingly kiss against Doofs lips, purring.<br>Heinz smiled into the kiss, brought a hand up and pressed Perry deeper into it, coaxing his tongue in touch with the agents, eliciting a small, delicious moan, combined with a purr.  
>As the kiss broke, they both were panting for air and Doof whispered: "You'd stay over night?"<p>

There was this lean, but strong body in front of him, in his arms and he nuzzled his beak into a well defined shoulder blade, deeply inhaling the mixed scent of them both and their previous activities from last night.  
>Perry sighed as his body told him that just smelling, wouldn't be enough. He simply <em>had<em> to _taste_.  
>And so he started with a soft, almost timid stroke of his tongue along the shoulder blade in front of him.<br>His taste buds exploded, his body reacted immediately and he ground instinctively against Heinz' back, licking more of the sweet sweat and mixed tastes from the hot skin, lowly purring.  
>It just tasted so unbelievable good...<br>He needed more.  
>And more.<br>And even more.

Doofenshmirtz awoke to the overwhelming feeling of being licked clean.  
>He tried to pretend to be still deep asleep, but he failed miserably, then as Perry's rough tongue – vibrating from the purring – glided along his hairline and the platypus' needfully rubbed himself against his back, he couldn't suppress any longer a throaty moan and bent his head to give more access.<br>It seemed that Perry took this as an encouraging sign and moved his small hips with more vigor while he started to nibble at the smooth skin on the doctors neck.  
>It took not much longer until Heinz uttered a pleading whimper.<p>

The man in his arms started to squirm, to rub against him and they moaned simultaneously as Perry used his sensitive tail to pet Heinz' lower back.  
>"Would you," dark, husky, full of need, "stop fooling around..." Doof's breath hitched, "... and just..." the words died in a long, satisfied moan, as the agent slid down and took what the doctor offered.<br>Perry dug his claws deep in the soft flesh on the doctors hips and pushed forward, his purring increasing into a low, rumbling growl while his thrusts gained in force and speed.  
>"Oh yes, oh yes, Perry, oh pleeeease..." Heinz' voice toppled over and the words drained into nonsense as Perry lost the rest of his already feeble control and totally gave in to his animalistic side.<p>

"Wow..." Doofenshmirtz turned his head to peer over his shoulder at the worn out platypus, still laying on his rear, "... that was more than a little amazing, pet."  
>Perry gave his so called nemesis a drowsy wink and a slow chatter.<br>Moving was just impossible. He could not even feel his feet...  
>"Would you mind..." and Heinz grabbed the agent, pulled him gently into a hug and kissed the tip of his beak.<br>Perry thankfully kissed Doofs nose and cuddled then up to the scientist.  
>Right before drifting off to sleep once more, Heinz mumbled teasingly: "My ass hurts. Curse you, Perry the platypus..."<br>Perry just chuckled. Oh how much he loved this moron...


	3. E V I L

**E V I L**

**Roses smalltalk:**  
>Sorry guys, this turns slightly to OOC and AU<br>But, I hoped/wanted to bring a little more background info about Doofy... 

**E V I L**

Heinz awoke to the buzzing of his cell phone and with a drowsy move he reached for it and flipped it open, stared at the screen only to pale and cursing: "Scheisse, the meeting!"  
>Perry by his side uttered a sleepy, questioningly chatter and tried to pull him back into the covers, but failed as Doof pressed the recall button while explaining his lovernemesis: "The E V I L management meeting starts in about half an hour..." he stopped as finally someone on the other end of the line picked up and barked into the phone: "I overslept, tell them to wait Hank, 'kay?"  
>"Sorry," he apologized while hanging up and bending down to press a kiss onto Perry's beak, "but I has to attend, as I'm still the president and the main stockholder. So no evil schemes for today. And..." he deepened the kiss for a brief second, "... and after the last night, I desperately need a shower first, pet."<p>

Perry laid on his stomach, watched _Dr_. _Dr_. Doofenshmirtz getting dressed into a black BOSS suit, after they had shared a shower and Heinz had shaved.  
>The platypus had to hold himself back, really, he absolutely knew why Heinz sported his lab coats. If the doc would walk around in those cloths more often...<br>Hell, Perry would have a hard time to get the groupies of off _his_ nemesis!  
>"Looking good?" Heinz asked, straightening his back.<br>Perry gave a double thumps up and an approving chirrup. Looking good was the understatement of the year!  
>And he wasn't really pleased as Heinz leaved the apartment.<br>But, he was more than surprised and pleased as his nemesis reopened the door and asked: "Wanna tag along and show your talent at perform the dumb pet who doesn't much, smexy beast?" 

**E**ngineering and **V**aluable** I**nventions in **L**aser-technology, declared in big letters on the glass door to the premises which swished open in front of them.  
>Perry head high, around his neck the most expensive leash and collar – more sort of a necklace – he ever wore and held on Heinz' arm, was profoundly impressed.<br>"Morning Dr. Doofenshmirtz!" the receptionist coquetted.  
>Heinz flashed her a wink and a smile: "Guten Morgen* Cindy!" making her blush furiously, sending her giggling. The platypus on his arm growled.<br>They stepped into the elevator and – Perry just _had_ to mark his territory – the agent stretched and pulled Heinz into a searing kiss by his necktie, leaving his nemesis gasping for breath and grinning: "I've got it, I've got it: No flirting!"  
>Perry just nodded and he really was about to drown in Heinz' dark-blue eyes as the elevator came to a halt and the soft "ping" announced the doors opening.<p>

They where greeted by a square-shouldered, blue haired man, who passed Doofenshmirtz a thick folder, curiously peering at Perry on the doctors arm.  
>"Perry," Dr. D introduced, "this is Dr. Hank McCoy*, chief scientist of the bio-lab..." he shot the man a wink, "And this, Hank, is my life partner, Perry!"<br>The other scientist stretched out his big hand at the Platypus and smiled, bearing pointy, sharp teeth: "Nice to meet you, Perry the platypus!"  
>The agent, for once taken out of guard, grabbed the large hand with a paw and shook it.<br>Hanks grin only widened.

They where about entering the boardroom when a small, over accurate dressed lady stood up and conceitedly squeaked: "Pet's aren't allowed in the office rooms Mister Doofenshmirtz!"  
>Perry uttered a quite growl and clutched Doofs arm a little tighter, but Heinz just smiled coldly at the woman: "First: It's still <em>Dr. Dr.<em> Doofenshmirtz for you. Second: This isn't an office, this is a boardroom, thirdly – even if you don't like it Charlotte – I'm still the head of this firm. So, please take a seat and let's get over with the show!" and with this he sat down, placing the snickering Perry on his knees, at the head of the council table.  
>Hank took the seat to his right.<p>

"... the eye-surgery-laser and the new laser-scalpel also passed all the tests with best results!" one of the younger mans at the table closed.  
>Doofenshmirtz just sighted inaudible and absently nodded while his long, delicate fingers stroked the velvety platypus fur beneath them and ordered then: "Trading results?"<br>Perry on his lap, front paws on the council table, wriggled and purred as the fingers traced a sensitive spot and the tail jolted upwards and laid now flat against Heinz belly.  
>Doof inhaled a sharp breath as the platypus' backside pressed into <em>his<em> sensitive groin area and grinned then.  
>This time, the meeting could get quit enjoyable.<p>

Perry increased his purr to a sound vibration, placed his left front paw on Heinz' left wrist and started to paw with his back legs, feeling the Doctor shiver beneath him.  
>Oh, he was sure he could spice up this meeting quite a little for his nemesis...<br>He just continued his actions for a while until he started to innocently, unremarkable rubbing his rear down on Heinz lap. Perry felt the man stiffen almost instantly and smirked maliciously, purring a little louder.  
>Hank shot them a quizzically glance as Heinz' breath staggered for a second, before looking back at the whiteboard where another statistic was showed.<p>

Heinz left hand sneaked around Perry's body, combing the soft fur of the agents belly with lazy strokes, while he stared straight to the whiteboard, making the platypus shudder in pleasure and pressing more into him.  
>And one hour later, as lunchtime finally arrived, all they both had in mind was getting out of the room and...<br>Doofenshmirtz bolted up, clutching Perry to his chest, the platypus' tail concealing the bulge in his pants and almost barked: "He needs a walk... immediately!" and out they were.  
>They disappeared into the next room, Hanks office.<p>

"Mein Gott**..." Doof bit back a moan, leaned more over the desk, supporting his weight on his elbows now, fingering Perry's tail, "... you almost made me cum in there..." he groaned, bucked his hips, "... and I thought to be the evil guy..." he snickered and bite back another moan.  
>The agent, sitting on the desk, grinned around the pulsing cock in his beak and purred an answer, making his nemesis moaning out loud and bucking his hips and getting lost with a last soft bite.<br>Doof collapsed in the office chair next to the desk, marveled the sight of Perry licking clean his bill, he yanked the agent closer by his leash: "My turn now, to taste you, Perry the naughty-pus..."  
>Hank pulled his hand from the handle as if he had touched burning iron and turned on heels as he heard Doofenshmirtz' rasping voice and grinned, muttering: "Better I'll pass him my notes later..."<p>

They sat there cuddled up in the office chair as Doofenshmirtz cellphone vibrated.  
>The doc picked it up as soon as he had red the name on the display: "Hi Vanessa honey, how you're doing?"<br>Perry turned his head sideways and tried to listen in.  
>"Yeah," Doof stated, "I'm peachy. So you wanna travel around the world – again?"<br>The agent could hear Vanessa confirm and then Doof asked with who.  
>"Ferb and Phineas..." came the muffled answer from the other end of the line.<br>Heinz and the platypus exchanged a quick look, before Heinz asked his daughter: "Will you be back for dinner, Vannie?"  
>"Don't think so, their parents are out for the rest of the weekend..."<br>Heinz nodded, quirking a brow at Perry and the agent just nodded too.  
>"Okay, go and have some fun, Vannie hon," he grinned, "but if you all get in troubles: Call me or Perry immediately!"<br>Vanessa thanked him overjoyed and her father told her that he loves her, before hanging up, looking at Perry and smiling: "Seems like you should go home after this stupid meeting, to make a little appearance before they leave..." he leaned down, brushing a kiss to the top of the platypus' bill, "... like to have dinner uneder the stars?"  
>Perry nodded.<p>

"Hank..." Doofenshmirtz nodded and took place at the little table in the firms cafeteria, placing Perry on the last free chair.  
>The other scientist just nodded in acknowledge, a wide grin on his features: "Polished up my desk, Doofy?"<br>Heinz and Perry blushed together and started then to gulp down their food, not caring how awkward it was for other peoples to see a platypus using knife and fork.  
>"You know," Hank said after a while, "I did the back check on your DNA, Perry the platypus..." Perry shot him a critical look, then nodded.<br>Hank McCoy addressed Doofenshmirtz: "I'd still not get why you don't want to drag the OWCA to court... they DO experimenting on humans..." he waved his hand in the monotremes direction, "... _his_ mutation is not naturally. _I_ know what _I_'m talking about, Heinz."  
>"Man Hank," Doof snorted, " you really has a talent to put down a mans appetite..." he gazed then at his nemesislover, "You know Dr. McCoy, I would loos him, he would loos his family all other agents too and they probably – if not for sure – would get dragged in to labs to experiment on them..." he pushed back his chair, grabbed Perry around the waist, pulling him into his chest and growled: "Anyway, time to the get over with this annoying meeting!"  
>Perry was sure if Hank wouldn't be a close friend of Heinz, he would've been zapped with a inator lately. <p>

"Ah," Phineas exclaimed happily, cuddling his pet, "there you are Perry!" the boy then sniffed at the platypus' fur and lifted him up to look into the pets eyes: "Why you smell like aftershave?"  
>Perry just made his usual chatter.<br>Ferb wordlessly took the platypus out of his brothers hands, hugged him, sniffled and stated: "BOSS. Bottled Night. Luxurious and classy."  
>"Hy Ferb," a female voice spoke up, "What'cha doing?"<br>From Phineas side Isabella shot the newcomer a deadly glare, while the green haired boy turned – Perry slipped out of his grip and took the opportunity to disappear – and gallantly bowed: "Good afternoon, Vanessa!"  
>Perry peaked around a corner of the house, saw the friends go into Phineas and Ferb's, the boy geniuses, newest invention and – waved back as Vanessa turned around and waved a short goodbye to him.<p>

*If anyone had recognizes my special guest at the end of the chapter: Tell me and I'll give you a little surprise... *giggles*

**My God!


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